Interview with Esther Hwang

AC: Esther, do you have mentors in your life?

Esther: My Grandmother was the model I most longed to emulate. She blazed paths that were unheard of in her generation and culture. My grandmother was an incredible pioneering woman in Korea at a time when women were considered second class citizens. A woman's opinions did not matter, never mind their personal ambitions, dreams, and goals. Their "idealistic" words were fleeting like a long lost dream, full of air in a balloon. Only this balloon pops before it ever gets the opportunity to be filled to its capacity. How dismal and barren women's outlook must have been back then.

As a young woman, my grandmother gave birth to four healthy, talented daughters. After the birth of the fourth daughter, my grandfather was granted a legal 'pardon' to leave my grandmother. Her sin? Failure to give birth to a boy. Converting her pain into a personal introverted social rebellion, my grandmother sent not one or two, but all four of her daughters through college at a time when women in higher education was considered a terrible waste. It was considered a squander of money, time, effort, energy and resources.

She went a step further by returning to school herself. She went on to college, then to graduate school, and finally to seminary college. At the age of 48, she became the very first woman Christian Methodist minister in Korea. Shortly thereafter she immigrated to California. In Los Angeles, she established and led a church fellowship, and for 20 years she had an adoring congregation. When she died in the mid-90's, my aunt, who also became a Methodist minister, continued the work by taking the reigns of leadership for the church in memory of my grandmother.

  AC: Esther, you're no longer entering beauty contests, you've moved ahead of that phase in your life preparing to go to law school, working in government and entering the world of acting and film. But before those special memories fade, after all you are still the reigning Miss Asian America and Miss San Francisco and current Miss California runner-up - how did you get started entering all these beauty pageants?

Esther: My mother used to be a beauty queen in her youth, so it seemed only natural for me to follow in her footsteps. When I was a little girl I loved celebrating Halloween's and going trick-or-treating. While other little girls were witches or pumpkins or Wonder Women and so on, I dressed up as a little beauty queen princess every year for 7 consecutive years! I would make a tin foil tiara for myself, and my mother would crown me annually. My mother always encouraged me to enter pageants and learn from each experience.

AC : What was your Mom like in those early years of entering beauty pageants?

Esther: Whether it was just learning a makeup trick or learning how to color coordinate just right, my mother thought there was always something to learn from pageants. She made it fun and exciting for me. She never instilled in me the burden or responsibility of a must win approach. Regardless, due to my competitive nature, I wanted to win every pageant I entered. Nobody competes in a pageant thinking they dont' have a shot at the crown? Everyone wants to win. That's a fact. It just so happens, I was fortunate. Perhaps my success can be attributed to pageant experience or pageant training. Whatever other factors were involved, my competitive attitude played a big part in allowing me to win nearly every beauty title I competed for.

AC: When did you seriously get started entering beauty pageants?

Esther: I have been doing pageants and beauty competitions since I was 16 and I finally "retired" from my pageantry career last year, at 23. Most pageants' maximum cut off age is 28, so when people ask me why have I stopped doing pageants, I tell them what I discovered at my last pageant. The novelty and the excitement wore off. I always knew that the day I woke up and considered my next pageant a grueling job and something I dreaded it would be time to move on. Pageants truly bring out a competitive nature that can drain and exhaust a person. It is like sprinting - not running; you can't keep it up forever. Besides, I told others and myself, I want to focus more on my modeling career, acting career and of course on my Web site.

AC: As you look back, what were the most important things that you learned in this experience?

Esther: Beauty pageants taught me a great deal about myself. I learned about voicing my own opinions and quickly formulating witty responses on my feet in front of thousands of people. I learned the art of delivering what wants to be heard and accepted. I learned a great deal about politics and public relations. I learned about confidence and a taste of the entertainment industry. Functionally, I learned how to put on all my makeup in 15 minutes and be dressed and ready to go, at my best, in 30 minutes flat. I learned how to whip my waist length hair into an elegant up style in a flash. I learned about sisterhood and competition. I learned about dealing with disappointment and bouncing right back for the next segment. I also learned how to humble myself with every achievement and about being appreciative whatever the outcome may be. Involving myself with pageants gave me an outlet to showcase my talents and further learn to enhance what God blessed me with. What I treasure most from my pageant experience is that I learned about myself and the person I am, while striving to better myself and become the person I want to be.

AC: Can you describe your feelings, the moment that the announcements were made that you won the crown?

Esther: The very first time I won a pageant was the most exhilarating feeling I have ever experienced! At that moment I knew of the almighty power of a human being's capacity for a pure, natural HIGH. I knew because I was experiencing that unmatched high. My breath was caught in mid air and my heart was in my throat. I remember choking with an explosion of emotions as I closed my eyes and slightly threw back my head in a deep intimate sigh of relief. Yes, relief! Relief! Relief that all the hard work, the pain and sweat of working out, saying no to sweets and foods, and so on, coming to this final, triumphant, pregnant pause of pure ecstasy. That's what it was. It was the final stretch of the long wretched marathon and seeing the finish line. Only, I finished it first and alone. The realization that it was I and only I overwhelmed me. Finally, I opened my eyes and smiled so big. I didn't care that it was considered too big of a smile for the cameras or if it made my eyes wrinkle up to much. All I cared about for that one moment in time, that it was my turn to shine and be happy.

AC: Do you remember your Mom during the announcement that you won the crown?

Esther: My mother rushed to the stage and I saw big fat tears of happiness frame around her lovely face. Her happiness was so apparent as she smiled through her tears that it magically transformed into something tangible to me. At that very moment, as my name was being announced as the new queen, I emotionally and physically held her happiness in my heart. And as our eyes met, mother and daughter, while I walked the finale "queen" walk down the aisle with a newly crowned tiara on my head and an enormous bouquet of red roses in my arms, I knew I had met my first destiny. I had begun the completion this small fate of mine - of fulfilling and carrying on the legacy of my mother's beauty.

AC: Thanks Esther from all of us at AsianConnections!!

Esther is "moving on" in her life with changes to her own successful website Esther.com, new photo shoots, a calendar coming out, and guest appearances on major national television shows.

Esther is an extraordinary woman of "action." It's not an easy feat to win a full scholarship to U C Berkeley, and graduate with honors - these are achievements that require real performance.

We've chatted with Esther about all those challenges with the "sex-kitten" stereotyped roles, and we've debated enthusiastically whether she should pose nude (some of us are just teasing her because we know her!). Now, let's get real...how about chatting with Esther on your opinions on setting some career goals, and giving her some encouraging advice on her adventurous road ahead?

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