AC Team: What inspired you to write this book?

Steve: Many years ago I fell in love...hook, line and sinker....for a woman on a Caribbean cruise. That affair lasted a couple of years as a long-distance romance until it eventually ended.  But unfortunately for me, it was very hard for me to recover. I saw that blissful experience as the "big one that got away."

At the same time I was also studying personal development and life mastery principles with motivational guru, Tony Robbins. I thought that what works in a Club Med or cruise ship environment is a lot different than what I had seen in a John Gray (or Tony Robbins) seminar. 

I came up with some ideas about "cruising for romance" and then noticed the fishing part. When I heard people say, "I'd like to hook-up with the right guy" or "There are more fish in the sea," and all those fishing type comments, I had myself a working metaphor for uniquely communicating relationship and personal development principles.

So for several years I tested my "fishing for love" concept on 28 cruises and 27 Club Med vacations over a span of several years. (I've been in the travel business so I didn't pay full price!).  And as I said before, it eventually became "Men Are Like Fish" because of the American proverb.

AC Team: What was your relationship with Tony Robbins?

Steve: I was a trainer for Tony Robbins for 7 years and a paying participant in his programs for 2 years, so for a good chunk of my life I was a Tony Robbins guy. Every year in Hawaii, I'd get 35 to 50 people in my group where I would be there to help them straighten out their lives from a physical, emotional, financial, or relationship perspective. One of the key tools for change that we used in Robbins' training is a thing called global metaphors.  Global metaphors are simple stories that we use to represent large parts of our lives.

"Men are like fish" or "fishing for love" is a global metaphor for love where the woman is the angler and the man is the fish. It's a proactive way for a woman to approach her love life.

As a side-note, I was also only one of two Asians who were trainers for Tony Robbins during those 7 years. The training was very much a stretch for me both physically and emotionally. But I couldn't have written my book without this highly specialized training.  As I understand, Tony Robbins no longer teaches in the same depth as he did back then (1989-1995).

AC Team: How has your Japanese heritage played into the creation of your book?

Steve: Being Japanese almost makes me an expert at the fishing metaphor because all my family and relatives are recreational fishermen. In fact, all our family vacations as far as I can remember had something to do with trout fishing.

But on a more serious note, I grew up in Palos Verdes, California during my teenage years and the girl I fell for had a father who was prejudiced against me because of my Japanese heritage. In a way his method of keeping us apart by preventing our dating backfired because we found clever ways to sneak around him.

That sneakiness made me work very hard for her and made me a very romantic guy as a result.

I was also in the retail florist business for 13 years which was a traditional Japanese-American industry until recently. Flowers are kind of the "romance business" so being Japanese put me in the position of seeing the business of romance on an everyday basis.

Being of Japanese heritage has no doubt made me a better and more sensitive observer and has led to many unique dating and romantic experiences. It would take a few hours to cover them all, however!

AC Team: Do you think that Asians in general have unique challenges in the dating world?

Steve: I first want to say, that we are all the same and yet at the same time different from others. So some questions about dating and love are true regardless of who you are. But other questions may have slightly different answers because of race or nationality.

If you date within your nationality, then basic relationship principles are all you need. But if Asians date outside their race or their nationality then you need extra insight, more refined strategies, and take more outstanding actions. What a hassle, right? 

For example, my brother married his 4th-generation Chinese girlfriend and that has led to some interesting conflicts over holidays and traditions. They've been together for over 15 years so they've managed to handle these things, but my brother told me it wasn't easy.

As far as dating non-Asians, there's often a subtle or not so subtle prejudice. Hopefully, that will slowly go away as the generations intermarry. Many 4th generation Japanese have already intermarried Caucasians for example, and produced beautiful "half & half" children with light brown hair, soft skin and blue eyes.

As far as physical attraction goes, I think that Asian women have great sensual appeal to non-Asian men, while Asian men don't particularly have that much natural appeal to non-Asian women. Although I think that is changing as we speak, with more hunky Asian actors being seen in mass media such as Chow Yun-Fat, Jet Li, Russell Wong, and others.

In my experience, I would almost never have a "love at first sight" thing with a non-Asian woman. It was more like I was a novelty act. This was particularly true if the woman was originally from the Midwest, New England or the South. 

But often times the problem regarding Asian with non-Asian relationships has more to do with dealing with each other's families than anything else. At least that has been my experience and observation.

I'm sure there are many exceptions.

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